Literally?

The penultimate sentence from Maureen Dowd's piece on Sarah Palin:

As Palin’s spokeswoman, Meg Stapleton, says, “The world is literally her oyster.”

Literally? Really? Literally?

Between this and the soon-to-be-ex-Governor-of-Alaska's "Executive Column" announcement - which reads like it was written with stars dotting all the i's - I think I might just donate a dictionary and a copy of Strunk and White to the library of the Juneau State House.

Creepy Ads of Yesteryear

The creepiest ads I've ever had the dubious pleasure of seeing can be found here.

A taste of what you'll find:

The kicker: that's not No. 1.

Not even close, really.

Empiricism Still Unreliable as Ever

From Yahoo! News:

Assassination in Pakistan Exposes Taliban Rifts

[excerpt; italics mine]

PESHAWAR, Pakistan – The assassination of the leader of a renegade Pakistani Taliban faction by one of his own men Tuesday underscores a growing rift in the ranks of the militant group as it braces for an impending army assault in the volatile northwest.

The bad thing "underscores" the...potentially good thing. I think.

Qari Zainuddin's killing sets back government hopes of exploiting these internal divisions in the South Waziristan tribal region, where the army has been pounding strongholds of Pakistani Taliban leader Baitullah Mehsud in apparent preparation for a major, U.S.-backed offensive.

Yes. Okay. (And what a mess, of course.) But the money quote:

Suspected U.S. missiles also hammered the same areas Tuesday, striking a purported Taliban training center and then a funeral procession for some of those killed in the earlier attack. Up to 40 people were killed — including Sangeen Khan, a top aide to Mehsud — and 60 more wounded, said two intelligence officials who spoke on condition of anonymity because it would compromise their jobs.

Suspected U.S. missiles? Really?

What gave it away--the drones?

"Suspected Italian pasta creates delicious dish, anonymous sources said."

Possibly The Best Thing, Ever

How is this not awesome?

Figure 1: Now available in candy form!

Ten Dollars for Four Lollipops sounds like a lot.

But, I mean, come on! Absinthe. Lollipops!

Also: Bourbon, Bacon Lollys.

Lollyphile.com

Some days, it seems like everything might be alright after all.

Well, Obviously

Been too long since I found a good meta-comic.

What if...what if you took Garfield strips, and ran the dialogue through an English-Japanese translation program and back again? Clearly, this:

[click to embiggen images]

Criticism, indeed! Or, this:

Really, don't we all hate the puppy?

Awesomeness.

Found here.

People's Republik Pub, Cambridge, MA

Views from the East and West. Well, sort of.

Facts Are Not As Facty As Once Thought...

I sure am glad we have smart people like this

Fig 1: Representative Paul Broun

to help us out. Old Captain Fucktard here [warning: shitty Republican website] here wants 2010 to be "The Year of the Bible." What in the fuck?

“That’s an endorsement of religion by the federal government, and we shouldn’t be doing that,” said Rep. Jerrold Nadler (D-N.Y.)

Damn fucking straight, Jerry.

Broun rejects the critiques leveled at this effort.

On what basis, one wonders? What say you, Congressman Broun?

“This doesn’t have anything to do with Christianity,” he said in an interview with POLITICO.

That's funny, I thought this was about THE BIBLE.

Rather, he says, it seeks to recognize that the Bible played an integral role in the building of the United States,

So did the Enlightenment. Ever hear of that? I'll send you some shit to read.

including providing the basis for our freedom of religion that allows Muslims, Hindus and even atheists to vocalize their own beliefs.

Wait.

Wait wait wait.

THE BIBLE provides the basis for our freedom of religion?

Actually, no. No it doesn't. Kind of forbids it, actually. I looked it up [warning: Canadian].

Figure 2: Freedom of Religion!

Also, "even athiests?" EVEN?

Fuck you, fuckwits. I won't see you in Hell.